Really?

That is the question.

Actually, on the contrary, suprisingly it never does turn to that. And I'm so open with it.

I am an open book. Cliche. But true.

I sincerely try not to be, but I envelop all that would be meant by such a statement. Say one word to me, and I'm '...100K plus'. Its rather embarassing that with something so, well, embarassing, but even more so, personal, I would share this with just about anyone at the drop of a dime. I should keep something like this hid up inside and use it to fuel my success.

Ha, well quite the opposite, my friend. It's fueling my downfall. Downfall to where? I don't know, but downfall at best description. I thought that maybe I'd start back up another blog, cause we all know if you've had one, you've had a couple. But I thought I'd start it to finally put some of me, well more of me. because what is a blog but someone's thoughts. I thought I'd start it because before I tailored to what I thought would be interesting to others, for what odd reason I do not know, in that, there are millions of these. I tried to focus on the world and society, but it brought me down. And why did I start writing in the first place?

to understand me.

Which I still don't, and know that much less about the world and society. Because what am I more than a child of this world and a member of this society.

But I digress, as will always occur in such mindless writing where no boundaries are formed.

I am writing this to at the very least, bitch, because blogs were meant as such, in fact, many forms of media are meant for this exact act. (Describing it that way sounds so mindless, but in this day, a word such as this is very powerful in meaning. Especially in our dumbed down version of a country we deem the US of A.)

I am writing this because I am severly in debt, not just by any debt. I mean I'd be happy to be in debt to the purchase of an asset(a large one, preferably a house. A car that expensive would just be silly without a house. But, it would be a damn good looking house/car.) But I am in debt to a purchase of a piece of paper. A skill, I guess. More a scam,; one to keep you within those lines you were born into. Anyone can live the American Dream, but some have more and some have less. So, I am here today to say that I don't know what to do, leading me to believe that I have no flippin clue about myself and, for the better benefit, society.

The tipping point for this decision to allow myself to ever complain as I have named it and blogged it, was yahoo.com. There was a story of an NYU student who was over 97K in debt. Ha, she went to NY f'n U in NY f'n C. I'm going to pay $20 for a Big Mac there, let alone an education. Big Mac Index that!

I'm not saying I didn't love every second of it and it didn't change my life for the better.

But at what cost?

Well, funny you should ask. Half of my wages working for the average (Pittsburgh) salary. There's nothing to say for now more than I paid half of my life for a 4 (and a half ;p) year schooling and sheet of paper.

I'm just saying.