Validation

I'm probably like you.

That's an enormous leap of generalization.

But some of us can fit ourselves into different genres of characterization.

'What if we're all a little bit weird' Sry, my quote of the season, from an awesome movie, Swiss Army Man. Great, but odd movie.

Im working in a new position, and new always seems to be self validating. 

Until the effects wear off, and the honeymoon is over.

But thats not my point, nor is trying to convince of Swiss Army Man's relevance.

In my position I have added responsibilities and expectations where Ive tried to come in with arms swinging and an attempt to lead the pack.

Ive been marginally successful at this attempt and have been validating on several occasions, ie money, or the promise of it, which at this juncture of my life, thats the only validation I really want from anyone. 

But this expectation Ive set, through triumphs, and defeats, is stunningly high for my position in life. (I write as I sit at my 2nd job as the doorman)

With his expectation is the minimalization of the highs in my life, my son, my continuing quest for education, my work life for that matter.  That I must meet a certain standard, set higher than the acheivements and places I've been.   This means I receive no validation, or invalidation, through the daily, monthly, yearly, or seasonal success I experience.  I simply did the expectation of my time period.  Almost like those players that get a touchdown and don't celebrate because it is theirs, the teams, and the fan's expectation that they will score, and score often.

I'm no star football player; more of failed accounting major with several dings on my record, personal, legal, financialn and otherwise.

So when I complete a class or learn a new move or get a raise, I simply feel the expectation has been met and move on.

There's almost no thankfulness in that.  Maybe thats due to an extreme sense of historical invalidation and under acheivement, but either way, without the validation, I only ask for more validation from external sources.

I have a buddy, who I made in my new position, who is the exact same position, age, and almost person as myself.  He continually needs my validation and our bosses, and those around him.  I feel I am no different in a sense.

My expectation is set at such a level that upwards validation is the only thing to set that free, and that does not come often.  Often, work is a continuous set of actions, some of which I meet expectation, others I fail to, and even others I hopefully exceed.

We all long for some sense of validation, whether thats external or self driven, but validation is tough because theres such a difference from person to person.

'All glory is fleeting' -Joe Paterno used to quote Patton, or some Roman emporer, I beleive.  But as players through his regime experienced some of the highest highs available to goal minded individuals, he reminded them to be humblen to understand validation is only one piece of the puzzle, especially when received externally.  And it's also fleeting, so while we, most of us, would enjoy the praise, that is temporary, just as is pain, but true validation is internal.

I guess that's my point.

Validate internally.

It will allow you to move on, to the tasks at hand, to today's worries, to today's actions, to meet today's expectations. 

To exceed today's expectations.

Everyday.